“It’s been a long five years since we’ve had an album from this Norwegian foursome. Which is probably a good thing, considering their last few releases haven’t been their best by a long shot. Basically, since 2011’s V, the band has struggled to retain their days-of-yore sound while trying to expand on it and deliver something fresh. Having left Season of Mist and returned to Indie Recordings, now is the time to drop something new and exciting.” Vreid and weep.
“If you know anything about grumpy ole Grier, you know he’s been dry-humping Bizarrekult ever since 2021’s Vi Overlevde. “Dry-humping” might not be the correct term. Maybe passionate lovemaking? Yeah, that’s the stuff. But, in all seriousness, this little band came out of nowhere and has been making waves in such a short time. While the debut had me glued to my seat, the follow-up, Den Tapte Krigen, damn-near bolted me down—to the point that I had to cut myself out of my pants to break free. If that had been the band’s swansong, I would have been just fine for the rest of my life. But Bizarrekult is back to ruin another pair of my pants. Behold! Alt Som Finnes!” Weird kvlt fandom.
“After list season comes to an end, there’s an involuntary sigh of relief that all the work got done, and while a lot of the lists were shit, stylistically and format-wise, they looked good. But the first review of the year is a different kind of sigh. Not one of relief but one of ‘here we go again.’ So, with my knuckles cracked and promo downloaded, I dive into Spanish thrashers, Furi Helium, and their sophomore outing, No Altar Stands Eternal.” Altared states.
Doktor Grier has had one hell of a year. Thankfully, he’s here with his elite list so you all have something better to listen to then the shit that’s been posted by others.
“With age and wisdom, it appears this quintet is looking to make an impact decades after the heydays of this unique flavor of thrash came and went. The energy, since the release of Summon Thy Demons, must continue to surge in their veins because I’m back to deliver a review of this year’s Embrace the Awakening. While none of their albums are terrible by any means, will the ‘third-times-the-charm’ bring Mezzrow the breakout success they seek?” Makin’ a Mezz.
“Fuck you, I know this is late. But it ain’t my fault. We never got the damn promo now that Sabaton is signed to… Better Noise Music…? A label that apparently has as many metal bands on its roster as it does Sabatons. So… one. After releasing their decent 2022 release, The War to End All Wars, these Swedish warmongers are back with a brand new concept they’ve never done before. Just kidding, Legends is still about war and shit.” War forever MOAR.
“After releasing the sequel to their debut record in 2017, things have been quiet on the Vintersorg front. But now they are back with Vattenkrafternas spel sets out to take that same infusion of the Vintersorg of old with the Vintersorg of new that we heard from Till fjälls del II. Which I can’t complain about, considering I love it when the band knocks out some of those nasty black metal licks. Not that they have abandoned those influences in the last decade or so, but it’s a touch more prevalent on Vattenkrafternas spel. But, how far will they go, and how well will it work?” Early vinter chills.
“Many fans considered Green Carnation’s 2020 release a return to form for the band, and A Dark Poem Part I: The Shores of Melancholia continues where its predecessor left off. But it also incorporates everything we’ve ever known of the band’s catalog. Returning to the days of Light of Day, Day of Darkness, the band sets out to tell us a new story. Instead of accomplishing it in a single, one-hour song, The Shores of Melancholia marks Part I of a three-part series. This is one hell of an undertaking, but I’m here for it.” Your guide to morbid gardening.
“Two years ago, I grabbed Electrocutioner’s False Idols solely because their one-pager told me not to. And I enjoyed every minute of its straightforward approach to old-school thrash. Even scoring it higher than one would ever dare for something that’s been done countless times over. But there was just something about its riff-machine qualities that hooked me so deeply. Fast forward, and I’ve got my grubby sausage fingers on their sophomore outing, Harbinger. And, once again, you’ll find no gimmicks here. Just beer-swilling thrash in the realm of Slayer, Testament, and Whiplash.” Strong Island strong.
“Next year, one of Metallica’s greatest albums will turn 30 years old. Yup, you guessed it, Load. That’s why I’m writing a YMIO piece for it this year. Not just to break the rules and piss off ole Steelio, but because the band just released a remastered version of this precious little gem. Why would they do that, you might ask? No fucking clue.” Load bearing.
