Lavender Larcenist

Weaned on Whalecore

Blackwater Drowning – Obscure Sorrows Review

By Lavender Larcenist on March 4, 2026 in Reviews, Groove Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Metalcore, 80 comments

“I’m going to come out and say it. Arch Enemy has done untold damage to female-fronted metal bands. While their influence is undeniable, every iteration of the band has featured monotone vocals, cringe-inducing lyrics, and leather-clad frontwomen. As a woman, I have no issue with these things in a vacuum, but in the larger music sphere, they created simultaneously high and absurdly low standards. Requiring frontwomen to be stereotypically hot, thin, and sport bright hair, while also plummeting standards on the musical side with their milquetoast melodeath slop. This is an ill omen for North Carolina’s Blackwater Drowning.” Enemies and expectations.

Sylosis – The New Flesh Review

By Lavender Larcenist on February 18, 2026 in Reviews, Heavy Metal, Metalcore, Thrash Metal, 37 comments

“Sylosis has been quietly plugging along in the background for years, a band that, in my anecdotal experience, many have heard of, but few listen to. When I go to shout about the greatness of albums like Monolith or Dormant Heart from the highest peaks, it seems to fall on deaf ears. No more, I say! Lead vocalist and guitarist Josh Middleton has led the band since Edge of the Earth. As the last remaining original member, he became the de facto songwriter and soul of a group that has seen many members over the years and near dissolution during Middleton’s time with Architects. After returning to Sylosis full-time, the band is on their third release in this latest era, The New Flesh.” All hail the new flesh!

Ashbringer – Subglacial Review

By Lavender Larcenist on February 9, 2026 in Reviews, Atmospheric Black Metal, 15 comments

“We here at AMG are impossible to please. Minnesota’s atmo-black four-piece Ashbringer have learned this the hard way. While we lavished praise across their discography, those who giveth can also taketh away. Ashbringer’s previous outing, We Came Here to Grieve, originally received glowing remarks. Unfortunately for them, resident shark and Ashbringer connoisseur, Carcharodon, decided, upon further reflection, that the clean singing on their previous outing brought the album to a screeching halt after time and distance brought clarity. So, as if in response, Ashbringer has returned with Subglacial, and there isn’t an ounce of clean singing to be found on the album, as it provides an incredibly stripped-back sound in comparison to their previous outings.” Ashes up!

URNE – Setting Fire to the Sky Review

By Lavender Larcenist on January 27, 2026 in Reviews, Hardcore, Metalcore, 62 comments

“The evolution of a band is a fickle thing. Change too much, and you alienate those who started the journey with you; change too little and bore listeners over time, leaving only ardent fans of the sound. URNE, a London three-piece with close ties to Gojira and Mastodon, has already shown a surprising amount of reformation by their third release, Setting Fire to the Sky. The band’s debut, SERPENT & SPIRIT, was a hard-edged mix of post-hardcore, sweeping grooves, and raw vocals, with a little bit of sludge thrown into their clean-singing.” Urneing the fire.

Ov Sulfur – Endless Review

By Lavender Larcenist on January 17, 2026 in Reviews, Deathcore, 45 comments

“Blackened deathcore has truly run its course. This is simultaneously a hopeful sentiment, as it may encourage bands to explore new ideas, but also a sad one, because so few bands have actually created music that resembles the genre’s namesake. For every A Wake in Providence, there are twenty more bands flailing around with crappy production, boring synths, and chugga-wugga breakdowns that induce eye-rolls every time. Vegas-based Ov Sulfur sits somewhere between the two on their sophomore release, Endless. Featuring genuinely blackened elements in their sound, the band puts greater focus on melody and clean singing, bringing them much closer to… dare I say, blackened metalcore?” The core problem.

UUHAI – Human Herds Review

By Lavender Larcenist on January 12, 2026 in Reviews, Hard Rock, 39 comments

“It is well-established at this point that Mongolia is metal as fuck. Who would have thought that a landlocked country with a population of approximately 3.5 million people would have such a significant impact on culture? From the legends surrounding Genghis Khan to the fact that major IPs like Dune and Predator are incorporating throat singing to enrich their soundscapes, Mongolia has had a lasting impact that far surpasses its relatively small footprint. While Mongolian metal isn’t storming the charts consistently, bands like The Hu have seen massive breakthrough success, with hits listened to by a fanbase that dwarfs the population of their native country. Jumping in on the train is a new band from those storied steppes, UUHAI.” Why no Fleshgod uuhai.

Sold Soul – Just Like That, I Disappear Entirely [Things You Might Have Missed 2025]

By Lavender Larcenist on December 20, 2025 in Things You Might Have Missed 2025, Deathcore, 38 comments

“Blah blah blah, deathcore sucks, blah blah, okay, we got that out of the way. Now, for everyone who likes it, come close and hear about one of the bands doing shit right. Deathcore can be incredibly varied as a genre, and among the hundreds of doggy-doo bands out there, a few break the mold. As someone who listens to a lot of different deathcore groups (judge me, I don’t give a shit), North Carolina’s Sold Soul are out here making progressive deathcore that surprises as much as it crushes your skull. Even if you don’t like Lorna Shore or, like me, find their recent albums incredibly boring, Sold Soul is here for you.” MOAR core?

Dying Wish – Flesh Stays Together [Things You Might Have Missed 2025]

By Lavender Larcenist on December 16, 2025 in Things You Might Have Missed 2025, Hardcore, Metalcore, 33 comments

Here we go again, another day, another genre that generally gets written off by the metal faithful. Metalcore is a gateway for many metalheads, but it rarely has staying power past those formative years. I had the opposite experience, and only really found metalcore that I enjoyed well into my heavy music tenure. Dying Wish is one of those bands that dug its way out of the pit and drilled its way into my brain. The band’s latest album, Flesh Stays Together, is an emotionally charged ripper filled with catchy hooks, vicious breakdowns, and a manic energy more akin to acts like Venom Prison than its contemporaries. Flesh is a gift.

Insidius – Vulgus Illustrata Review

By Lavender Larcenist on November 20, 2025 in Reviews, Blackened Death Metal, 14 comments

“A Polish, blackened death metal record a day keeps the doctor away, or so I have heard. If so, Insidius (so tired of mispelled band names that make things impossible to search for) is your latest shot of hyper technical, searingly fast loud noises from the Poles. Quietly chugging along in the background, this Olsztyn-based fivesome has been producing solid blackened death since their debut, Shadows of Humanity, in 2016. While the album cover for Vulgus Illustrata may look like it contains some atmospheric depressive black metal, the eight tracks inside are nonstop meat grinders of chainsaw riffing with thick bass, otherworldly drumming, and pure rage.” Poles armed.

Cold Steel – Discipline & Punish Review

By Lavender Larcenist on November 16, 2025 in Reviews, Hardcore, 66 comments

“Debut albums are a fickle thing. Often the strongest release by a band for years to come, even giving rise to the term “sophomore slump” when the inevitable follow-up can’t hit the same highs. And so, debuts are make-or-break. For Tampa’s Cold Steel, Discipline & Punish is such a piping hot serving of crossover thrash, I can’t help but be excited for their future.” Steel is best served cold.