“In this mad dash towards relevance and timeliness, it can be tough to come up with things to say that don’t feel a little cliché. But the reality is that this whole path has been leading here. I had hoped to have a really special surprise ready for this day, but alas, I have pulled a classic Attention Deficit Disorder Guy move, filling my schedule up with stuff that hits me right in the dopamine. I’ve got reviews to write, n00bs to torture, and I have a fancy new vacuum cleaner that both vacuums and mops, so my apartment is as clean as it has ever been.”
