GardensTale

Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.

An Evening With Knives – End of Time Review

By GardensTale on March 31, 2025 in Reviews, Progressive Metal, Sludge, Stoner Metal, 26 comments

“At the start of the year, I pledged to pick as many promos as I could from those sent to us directly through the contact form, as a way to lift up the smallest of underground acts. But as this week is rather barren, I got to have my choice from the remainder, the label-backed colossi who have all their tedious marketing hubbub taken care of. One band name jumped out at me: An Evening With Knives. A name I’ve seen on plenty a concert bill around here, usually in a supporting capacity. Lo and behold, the lads are local, or rather, they were formed in the next city over. It’s always nice to see geographical peers making waves.” Stab-ility.

Contemplation – Au Bord du Précipice Review

By GardensTale on March 20, 2025 in Reviews, Death Metal, Doom Metal, 46 comments

“Mixing metal with non-metal genres is a practice as old as metal itself. But most such mixtures come about between jolly bedfellows. Folk music, orchestras, and various subgenres of rock don’t evoke clashing sounds or ideologies with the heavy and distorted. When the combination is less peanut butter & jelly and more peanut butter & sardines, is when critics look up, and oftentimes, audiences look away. We’ve had artists that mix metal with chamber music (Anareta), hip-hop (all of nu-metal), reggae (Skindred), even acoustic swing-jazz adjacent slam poetry (Dronte). But Contemplation is the first band I’ve come across that attempts to marry doom-death metal and dub, a niche genre that originated around 1970 from remixed reggae and psychedelics.” Young, dumb, and full of dub.

Rustorm – Gravity Review

By GardensTale on March 12, 2025 in Reviews, Doom Metal, Sludge, 6 comments

“I feel like I’ve seen an uptick in bands formed from people who played music several decades ago and only recently returned to it. One explanation could be empty nest syndrome: dropping out of music to raise a kid, pick up an old hobby once they’ve moved out. Midlife crises are a popular scapegoat as well, but sometimes it’s just the natural waxing and waning of interests as life takes us hither and tither. Rustorm is two Brits, Jules McBride (bass) and Rob Lewis (everything else), who were last seen around the turn of the century with short-lived alternative metal band Pulkas. A couple years ago they pulled the spiderwebs off their old gear, bought a couple of new pedals, and got to writing. Gravity is their second outing, but is Rustorm still rusty or does it take us by storm?” Rusting in the new age.

Sheogorath – Antimon Review

By GardensTale on February 17, 2025 in Reviews, Melodic Death Metal, 18 comments

“Most metalheads are nerds. But nerds come in gradations, and the same goes for bands. On a scale of ‘watched Game of Thrones once’ to ‘alternates LARPing and demoscene meets every other weekend,’ solo black metal bands are along the lines of ‘hobbyist cosplayer.’ So it’s a good thing that Sheogorath founder Matej Kollar got his buddy Patrick Pazour to do vocals, as social interaction automatically decreases the nerdiness. But wait, what’s that? Sheogorath is a character from the Elder Scrolls video games? Oh Matej.” Nerds be raging.

Aeon of Awareness – The Embracing Light of Rarohenga Review

By GardensTale on January 23, 2025 in Reviews, Melodic Death Metal, 23 comments

“You know, I’m rather proud of the impact we have at AMG. Bands we spotlight see a measurable increase in sales and engagement, even when the review did not come with enthusiastic recommendations. We’re receiving more and more promos directly from bands with a request for review, many of them unsigned. It takes balls to do that, and I think that deserves reward. The reward is brutal, uncompromising honesty. I’ve decided to focus on these promos more this year, and first in line is The Embracing Light of Rarohenga, the debut from German melodeath outfit Aeon of Awareness.” Well armed, unsigned.

GardensTale’s Top Ten(ish) Album Art of 2024

By GardensTale on January 20, 2025 in Blog Posts, 170 comments

It’s time for art appreciation, you bunch of uncultured dolts! Join us as we run down the best (and worst) album art of 2024 and learn to appreciate the finer things in strife.

Filii Nigrantium Infernalium – Pérfida Contracção do Aço Review

By GardensTale on January 17, 2025 in Reviews, Black Metal, Heavy Metal, Thrash Metal, 48 comments

“I’ve been doing this opinion-spewing thing long enough that I’m starting to forget some of my reviews, where even reading the prose I wrote myself is like reading someone else’s. However, this fate will not befall Filii Nigrantium Infernalium. Over 6 years since I wrote up Hóstia, two things still stand out in my mind like burning neon signs: the ludicrously, hilariously offensive cover art, and the unhinged vocals screaming the album title over infectious blackened heavy/thrash. Finally, the Portuguese have risen from their slumber once more, and one look at the album art suggests they haven’t given up on their quest to sweep the ‘offensive cover art’ awards.” Art for the disturbed.

Walg – IV [Things You Might Have Missed 2024]

By GardensTale on December 20, 2024 in Things You Might Have Missed 2024, Melodic Black Metal, 68 comments

“I tend to be wary of bands that release a new record year after year. Usually, this means the output is rushed and under-edited. But Walg is intent on bucking that trend, and their third record managed to worm its way onto my list last year. A duo from the northern Netherlands, Walg (meaning ‘disgust’) started off during the pandemic when multi-instrumentalist Robert Koning and vocalist Yorick Keijzer reconnected after playing together in metalcore band None Shall Pass. Instead of figuring out a sound first and recording music after, their philosophy seems more akin to ‘fuck it, we ball.’ But instead of the expected messy overblown demo, they started pumping out high-quality melodic black metal, and as IV demonstrates, this is not even their final form.” Prolific Walgtastic.

Labyrinthus Stellarum – Vortex of the Worlds [Things You Might Have Missed 2024]

By GardensTale on December 13, 2024 in Things You Might Have Missed 2024, Melodic Black Metal, 63 comments

“Black metal and outer space are an excellent match, playing off the cold, cruel, and distant properties they both share. Bands like Arcturus, Mesarthim and Mare Cognitum have explored the reaches of the galaxy in their own ways. But the newest forerunners of this particular niche come from an unlikely background. Brothers Alexander and Misha Andronati, 24 and 17 years old respectively, launched Labyrinthus Stellarum back in 2021 and have persisted through the rain of bombs and shrapnel that’s since descended on their hometown of Odesa, Ukraine. Vortex of the Worlds is their second album, and it has made weekly returns to my spaceship comms ever since I first heard it back in April.” WARtex!

Tribulation – Sub Rosa in Æternum Review

By GardensTale on November 10, 2024 in Reviews, Gothic Metal, 49 comments

“Tribulation has battled its share of tribulations. After an interesting decade of gradually shifting from death metal to goth metal with growls with a new drummer every couple of years, the band lost one of their primary songwriters with the departure of flamboyant guitarist Jonathan Hultén. The last album to include him, Where the Gloom Becomes Sound, was not bad, but certainly more messy and unpolished than its predecessors, and it was the first to largely halt the band’s evolution. Sub Rosa in Æternum sees the reintroduction of Joseph Tholl on guitars, who originally helped found Hazard, the thrash metal band that would become Tribulation. How has the shake-up affected the music, though?” Trials, travails, Tribulations.