With a brand new Panopticon just days away, we felt it was time for a big ole’ ranking.
Blog Posts
Record(s) o’ the Month – May 2025
There are months when the Record(s) o’ the Month feels like a sacred duty. It is the noble, worthwhile culmination of rigorous listening and passionate discourse. And then there’s May. May, a month in which Dr. A.N. Grier tried to vote for a band called… SEXCAVE or some shit 4 or 5 different times with different pseudonyms, and where Dolphin Whisperer almost made me rage quit by making a single joke about “sky-tearing tonalities,” which, like… what kind of pretentious fucking bullshit is that? Do you people even listen to music or do you just sit around all day making up stupid poetic ways of saying absolutely nothing?
Record(s) o’ the Month – April 2025
“April is the cruellest month,” wrote T.S. Eliot in a poem that no one quoting it has ever finished reading. And while Eliot was quite metal in his exquisite, existential despair about WWI or whatever, he never understood true existential dread. I speak, of course, of the dread of being force-fed twenty-five promising albums, half of which are drenched in so much reverb that you feel like you’re swimming, only to realize that you didn’t even review the Record o’ the Month yourself
Angry Metal Guy Speaks: On Spotify
“Phantom Spell review, a number of people commented that the great new record from Kyle McNeill is not on Spotify. This is, indeed, the case. Phantom Spell is part of a nascent movement of musicians who are divesting from the platform because of Daniel Ek’s involvement in the development of AI war tech.” AMG is here to give you the rundown on Spotify and streaming.
After Forever: Sending Ozzy Osbourne Off on His Next Adventure
What can you say when an icon like Ozzy Osbourne passes? All the achievements, all the landmark moments in a career, all the pieces of a lasting legacy are there for us to cherish. What we lost is the man himself. The man who rose from working-class beginnings in Birmingham, England, to create an entirely new form of music and then shape its sound over the next 50-plus years.
Back to the Grindstone: Brutal Truth – Need to Control
“Back to the Grindstone is a love letter feature dedicated to the appreciation of all things grindcore. This most extreme of extreme niche genres has been kicking since the late ’80s, growing in underground stature as the years march on. The rule of thumb to this feature is simple; spotlight will be on grind albums old and new, though will not include releases from the past five years, or albums previously covered on this website. Genre classics, underappreciated gems, old school and nu school will be covered, highlighting albums aimed at established fans and curious listeners interested in diving into the cesspool of the grind scene.” Truth brutality.
The Willowtip Files: Kalibas – Product of Hard Living
“Pennsylvania-based independent label Willowtip Records was established by Jason Tipton in the late ’90s. From humble beginnings, the label has stood the test of time, becoming one of the most respected and highly regarded record labels in the extreme metal scene. It takes something special to create a label with a consistently unfuckwithable roster of quality, innovative artists while retaining long-term integrity and durability. Willowtip is the self-proclaimed forward-thinking label, releasing a slew of modern classics and top-shelf albums that may have a lower profile but are more than worth your while.” Grind for your mind.
GardensTale Goes to Roadburn 2025
Our man in the Netherlands attended Roadburn and sent dispatches from the front. Then he went missing…
Arch Enemy Serve Legal Notice to AMG Refusing Payment for Review of Latest Album
“Long-running Swedish melodeath institution, Arch Enemy recently served AMG Industries with a legal notice alerting them that the band would not be paying for the review of their latest album, Blood Dynasty.”
Machine Head’s Signature “Shotgun Blast” Whiskey Seized by FDA
“Freedom stopped ringing and sales of Machine Head’s new signature “Shotgun Blast” whiskey came to a sudden halt today, as agents of the FDA seized inventory at warehouses and stores across the country in a coordinated operation.”
