“Unfortunately, the mighty Relapse stable now floats down the shitty stream for promos. As such, we are slow on the uptake with the latest platter of splatter from legendary underground gorehounds, Exhumed. Always searching for fresh inspiration for their deathly brand of precision butchery, tenth album Red Asphalt channels inner road rage via good old carmageddon mayhem and vehicular violence as its overarching conceptual theme.” Blood upon the highway.
“Already boasting a killer debut EP to their name in 2025, courtesy of the sick, old school deathgrind mayhem comprising Systems of Apocalypse, Texan wrecking crew Terror Corpse hit the ground running in their short time together. The newly minted outfit come seasoned with underground cred, featuring members that have logged time in the likes of Malignant Altar, Oceans of Slumber, Necrofier and Insect Warfare. Recording the EP as a five-piece, debut full-length Ash Eclipses Flesh finds Terror Corpse stripping back to a trio and shifting tact musically” Death walking Texas Rangers.
“Despite the core ingredient being completely the same, not all steaks are created equal. Marbleization, marination, seasonings, sauces, garnishes, lobster tail, and the right type of whiskey to chase it down are all equally important considerations in preparation for the final product, despite the cynics’ argument that you’re dealing with the same slab of beef. So too with death metal. Hailing from Canada, Last Retch are our chophouse today, offering up their second LP Abject Cruelty to appease your palate for all things medium rare.” Looks like meat is back on the menu, boys!
Filters are hard to keep clean because of all this filth. Don’t make it worse!
The April Filters are now fully de-scuzzified. You can approach and examine the scuzz flotsam.
“Metal burnout can be an unfortunate affliction that strikes most metalheads at various stages. The condition works in mysterious ways, and not necessarily in the ways you might expect. For example, my recent rotations have not abandoned metal entirely, but the urges of extremity have been largely repressed, aside from an unhealthy and wonderfully nostalgic Acid Bath binge. What better way to forcefully treat the matter than plunging into the deepest, ugliest depths of the promo sump to retrieve a grimy, rancid underground act set to help pummel me back to my metallic senses. Unheralded Italian act Golem of Gore specialize in rank and indecent goregrind mixed with brutal death mayhem on second full-length, Ultimo Mondo Cane.” Gore candy.
“I don’t know how some people can keep creating art for so long. Somehow fucking Clint Eastwood is still making movies, and that guy looked ancient when Gran Torino came out in 2008. Shed the Skin aren’t as old as Clint, but they’ve got a wealth of experience nonetheless. Formed in 2011 as a tribute to the long-defunct Ohio death metal group Blood of Christ, this sort-of-supergroup are comprised of several extreme metal veterans, On their previous four albums, the group offered up fun, no-nonsense death metal characterized by a sense of frenetic melody.” The sharpest tool in the skin shed?
“Finnish wizards of gore Morbific have been at this grimy game for half a decade, and to say the wear their ruptured hearts on their sleeves would be much more of an understatement than anything they have churned out of the chum factory on their previous two full-lengths or this, their third. The gloriously titled Bloom of the Abnormal Flesh drips with youthful enthusiasm, but as Ferox so eloquently described their absolute barbarism in his review of their sophomore outing, Squirm Beyond the Mortal Realm, Morbific aren’t here to break any new musical barriers; they’re just cracking skulls. These three Finnish grave robbers aren’t surgeons, they’re pugilists with all the finesse of a Sledge-o-Magic to a watermelon.” Hammer. Smush. Facemelon.
“In the week when Rotpit makes their revolting return to the death metal sweepstakes, I also signed up to cover the debut by the unheralded one-man Mexican death metal project Stenched. All my enthusiasm was focused on a particular hole in the ground full of decay so thusly, I approached Purulence Gushing From the Coffin not expecting much. That’s until the bucket of week-old pig organs got dumped over my head by the abhorrent sounds Stenched brought to the corpse buffet.” In reek condition.
“There are albums that choose you, and Corpsefucking Art chose me. Even for a band known for their comedy, Tomatized surprised me. There are certain subjects you cover for a brutal death/slam/goregrind band, with plenty of gore and torment populating its lyric sheets – even if the pig-squealed “EEEEEEEE” is the only thing you hear. Tomatized has all that and a Lovecraftian vibe: “Earth shall be ruled by a new breed of sentient beings!” the promo proudly proclaims. Okay, sentient beings dethroning humanity isn’t too odd for death metal. “Behold the kingdom of cyclopic tomatoes!” Wait, what?” Face the sauce boss.
