Teutonic Slaughter – Cheap Food Review

Becoming a fully-fledged metalhead is when you stop associating German metal with Rammstein and start with Teutonic thrash.¹ There’s something about Germany that just makes thrash metal meaner, dirtier, and nastier than anywhere else, and without Teutonic thrash, extreme metal would likely look very different from where it is today. Knowing and loving this heritage, Germany’s own Teutonic Slaughter throws their feather-capped hat into the ring with their third album, Cheap Food, brandishing both a ridiculous album cover and a conviction to maintain the glory of old school Teutonic thrash metal. But it can be a challenge staying firmly rooted in the past while sounding vital in the present. Can Teutonic Slaughter make the cut with Cheap Food, or will this record go down hard like dry currywurst?

A lot of bands aren’t good judges of their own sound, but Teutonic Slaughter deliver what’s on the tin with Cheap Food: no-nonsense German thrash built to bash your bratwurst in forthwith. Teutonic Slaughter riffs without restraint or mercy, drawing from the melodic but near-death metal aggressiveness of Kreator (“Redistribution,” “Hostage”) as vocalist Phillip Krisch rasps and growls with the volatility of Sodom’s Angelripper and the band tears through tracks in reckless, Tankardesque good-times-lovin’ fashion (“Witches Rock ‘n’ Roll,” “Give em Hell”). Krisch and Jan Heinen’s guitars are hefty and lacerated on Cheap Food, bolstered by drummer Christian Vollmer’s thunderous kicks and an even heftier bass presence from Fabian Kellermann. The power chord rules on Cheap Food, but Teutonic Slaughter mix it up whenever necessary, like on the twisty leads of “Cheap Food,” the arpeggios kicking off “Redistribution” or the harmonics-laden chorus of “Witches Rock ‘n’ Roll.” Teutonic Slaughter promised nothing but good, archetypal German thrash and Cheap Food has that in spades.

But more impressively, Cheap Food also delivers in hashing out good thrash to the masses by means of lean songwriting, blistering energy and vicious vocals. Though songs frequent the thrash iffy-zone of five-plus-minutes, Teutonic Slaughter serve riffs and ideas economically, letting nothing wear out and keeping energy squarely at eleven. Besides the back end of “Eviscerating Surgery” and the dead minute-and-a-half of “Intro,”² Cheap Food is spry at 36 minutes and flies by in a head-banging haze. Teutonic Slaughter sound one volt from exploding on Cheap Food, baring teeth on “Redistribution” and “Fight the Reaper” with crossover levels of hardcore intensity reminiscent of Municipal Waste.³ Personally, I think it’s Krisch’s animal-like mic job that gives Cheap Food its meanest bite, lathering songs with deathly howls (“Eviscerating Surgery”), blackened roars (“Witches Rock ‘n’ Roll”), hardcore gang shouts (“Hostage”), and just some of the gnarliest barks and shouts this side of Sodom. Gnarly vocals on top of fatless, relentlessly aggressive songs is foam crowning Cheap Food’s beer stein, and brother, it’s flowing over.

Teutonic Slaughter made a simply fun album. You’re not getting any radical surprises out of Cheap Food, and that’s by design. Instead, Teutonic Slaughter delight through expert performances of well-trodden thrash staples. Heinen provides the dive-happy, shredful soloing you expect and demand from the genre, leaving everything he has on closer “Give ’em Hell” in a no-holds-bar display of guitar belligerence. Thematically, when not dealing in societal or political issues (“Cheap Food,” “Redistribution”), Teutonic Slaughter revel in the schlocky macabre (“Witches Rock ‘n’ Roll,” “Eviscerating Surgery”) and fist-pumping motivation (“Fight the Reaper,” “Give em Hell”). It’s not meant to be complicated. Teutonic Slaughter aimed to pound your brain to spätzle with Cheap Food, and if you give it a spin, they’ll have succeeded handily.

Worthy of their countrymates’ thrash legacies, Teutonic Slaughter produced an incredibly enjoyable album in Cheap Food. Riffing heavy, fast, and without stop, it’s a record that’s here for good times and for making good times. Perhaps it gets a bit played out by the end, repeating a short list of moves for half-an-hour, but Cheap Food proved to be a surprisingly compelling listen that only further endeared itself to me with every listen. Obviously, if you like thrash, I’m going to recommend you give Cheap Food a spin. If not, don’t let the door hit your lederhosen on the way out. Mahlzeit!

Rating: Very Good
DR: 6 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps MP3
Label: Iron Shield Records
Websites: facebook.com/teutonicslaughter | teutonicslaughter.bigcartel.com
Available Worldwide: January 30th, 2026